Setting limits

Our children are counting on us to provide two things: consistency and structure. Children need parents who say what they mean, mean what they say, and do what they say they are going to do.

Barbara Coloroso

In terms of discipline with your partner’s children, it helps for you both to work together to decide what you can do individually and what is jointly needed.

Punishments may be best handled by the parent, rather than the step-parent.

Setting limits should be something that both of you can do, so that children don't manipulate – especially when you're not around.

Know what you can do individually and then for the issues that you should do jointly, you can just say, “Well, I am going to have to discuss that with so-and-so and we will decide what we are going to do.”

That way the child knows they can't manipulate one of you against the other.